just finished reading the book the other night. nakakaiyak amp! finally, after almost a year since my sis liberty lend me the book natapos ko din basahin. ipinagpaalam ko nga sa kanya na baka di ko muna maibalik. gusto ko kase ipabasa sa iba yun. gusto ko mabasa ng tatay ko, nanay ko, kuya ko, kr ko. at iba ko pang kaibigan.

dami ko natutunan.

tagal ko na rin palang di naka-post dito.

heto ang pinost ko sa peyups.com nang sagutin ko ang forum na "anong pangarap mo sa buhay?":

- makatugtog ng violin
- magturo
- makapagsulat ng play/book na maipagmamalaki
- makatulong sa magulang ko na mapagtapos ng pag-aaral ang mga kapatid ko
- matutong mabuhay na hindi iniaasa sa pera ang kaligayahan
- makahingi ng tawad sa mga kaaway ko at masabi ko sa mga magulang,kapatid,at kaibigan ko na love ko sila ng hindi ako nakokornihan
- mabuhay ng may kabuluhan para alalahanin ng mga tao ang araw ng pagkamatay ko.

sa tingin ko eto ang pinakamaayos na listahan ng pangarap na naisulat ko. di pa ako sigurado pero malakas ang kutob ko,hehehe.

pagod na ko kakaisip. magpapahinga muna ako. salamat kina ringo sa paalala.. hehe..

.

iniisip ko kung tama pa ba ang mga nagiging tugon ko sa mga nangyayari. hindi ko pa rin alam kung ano ang gusto kong gawin. naiinis na akong maging mababaw at mag-isip kung ano ang susuotin sa graduation ngayong april 22. hindi ko na masakyan ang mga taga-UP na napakaraming reklamo. ang iba naman iniisip pa ang lakwatsa kesa sa maghintay ng oras para makadalo pa rin sa isang mahalagang pagtitipon.

naiinis na ako sa kababawan ko. minsan naiisip kong mas mabuti pang may bumaril na lang sa akin bigla (politically motivated or ligaw na bala)

kung alam ko lang hindi siguro madilim ang nilalakaran ko ngayon, (yuck ang chummy ng pagkakasulat).

i can't seem to find anything about the artist, jessica king, in the net. if you do have a link to any of her webpage please tell me, thanks. if you want to hear the song just visit http://radioblogclub.com/search/0/jessica_king. 

a case of you


Just before our love got lost you said
"i am as constant as a northern star"
And i said, "constant in the darkness
Where's that at?
If you want me i'll be in the bar"

On the back of a cartoon coaster
In the blue tv screen light
I drew a map of canada
Oh canada
And your face sketched on it twice

Oh you are in my blood like holy wine
Oh and you taste so bitter but you taste so sweet
Oh i could drink a case of you
I could drink a case of you darling
And i would still be on my feet
Oh i'd still be on my feet

Oh i am a lonely painter
I live in a box of paints
I'm frightened by the devil
And i'm drawn to those ones that ain't afraid
I remember that time that you told me, you said
"love is touching souls"
Surely you touched mine
"cause part of you pours out of me
In these lines from time to time

Oh you are in my blood like holy wine
And you taste so bitter but you taste so sweet
Oh i could drink a case of you
I could drink a case of you darling
Still i'd be on my feet
And still be on my feet

I met a woman
She had a mouth like yours
She knew your life
She knew your devils and your deeds
And she said
Color "go to him, stay with him(her) if you can
Oh but be prepared to bleed"
Oh but you are in my blood you're my holy wine
Oh and you taste so bitter, bitter and so sweet
Oh i could drink a case of you darling
Still i'd be on my feet
I'd still be on my feet

Mmmmmmm

_______________________
amen...

araw ng dabaw ngayon.

hapon na ako pumasok sa opisina. nanggaling ako sa bahay ni grace at nakatuwaan naming matulog buong umaga dahil sa 'di pagtila ng ulan buong araw. alam kong marami akong dapat na gawin para sa gaganaping piket bukas (sa pag-alala sa naganap na Jabidah masaker noong 1968, panahon ni Marcos).

pagkatapos naming uminom ng pop cola. tumuloy na ako ng opisina at sinimulang gawin ang trabaho ko. natapos ko naman sa awa ng kung sino mang dapat maawa sa kalagayan ko ngayon.

mahirap mawala sa sarili.

Madalas niyayapos ko ang isang panaginip
Na kumukulay sa akin nang sing-tingkad
ng isandaang pulang rosas
na natuyo
Hindi ko mawari ang kakaibang halina nito
Na tila bang puputulin ang aking hininga sa oras na aking bitiwan

Gaya ng isang nagmamakaawang kamay sa ibabaw ng kumunoy
Nilalamon ako nito ng buo

Gaya ng paru-parong nasilo
Pinapatay unti-unti

it was around 10am of February 28 when nanay called me. sabi daw ni tatay uwi muna ako. when i asked her why, she said: patay na ang tito nap mo.



http://news.inq7.net/regions/index.php?index=1&story_id=67861

http://beta.inq7.net/regions/index.php?index=1&story_id=68002

tang'nang mga pasista yan!

sa wakas, matapos ang dalawang taon, natapos ko na ring isulat ang thesis ko!
love,
kurdapya 'd great

You are the Fool card. The Fool fearlessly begins
the journey into the unknown. To do this, he
does not regard the world he knows as firm and
fixed. He has a seemingly reckless disregard
for obstacles. In the Ryder-Waite deck, he is
seen stepping off a cliff with his gaze on the
sky, and a rainbow is there to catch him. In
order to explore and expand, one must disregard
convention and conformity. Those in the throes
of convention look at the unconventional,
non-conformist personality and think What a
fool. They lack the point of view to understand
The Fool's actions. But The Fool has roots in
tradition as one who is closest to the spirit
world. In many tribal cultures, those born with
strange and unusual character traits were held
in awe. Shamans were people who could see
visions and go on journeys that we now label
hallucinations and schizophrenia. Those with
physical differences had experience and
knowledge that the average person could not
understand. The Fool is God. The number of the
card is zero, which when drawn is a perfect
circle. This circle represents both emptiness
and infinity. The Fool is not shackled by
mountains and valleys or by his physical body.
He does not accept the appearance of cliff and
air as being distinct or real. Image from: Mary
DeLave http://www.marydelave.com/


Which Tarot Card Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

couldn't agree more. after this i would have to force myself and finish what i've started. i'm less than two weeks away from my thesis defense and i still have to finish the first and the last chapters. i'm planning to write something "me and my so-called self" after my thesis. *sigh*

oh well, i know things will get better after this week.. they must be! *scheming*

In a Past Life...

You Were: A Happy Go Lucky Belly Dancer. Where You Lived: Israel. How You Died: Buried alive.

wakekeke! bakit kaya ako inilibing ng buhay? siguro napaka-haragan ko nun! hehehe.. walang magawang matino sa buhay. kung sabagay, hanggang ngayon naman happy go lucky pa rin ako and i'd love to belly dance pero wala pa akong panahon ngayon. heheh.. at gusto ko ang kantang buried myself alive ng the used. coincidence? nah.. nag-effort lang talaga na ma-connect. *big laugh*